We often hear about the importance of generational wealth, but the concept of generational knowledge is equally crucial. When someone is struggling to find a job in today’s unpredictable economy, a common piece of advice is: “Get out there and network!”
While this is technically sound advice, it often lacks practical guidance. Networking is a critical part of career building, yet few people explain how to do it effectively.
There is a right way and a wrong way to network, but many of the rules are unspoken. These unwritten rules contribute to existing structural inequalities. Much attention is given to “nepo babies” and “generational wealth,” but the topic of generational knowledge—knowing the often hidden rules of the corporate world—rarely gets discussed.
This is why traditional networking can feel awkward, impersonal, and exhausting. Without a clear guide, it’s challenging to network in a way that feels genuine, energizing, and human.
Having spent 15 years creating a supportive and kind network, I’ve found it to be the driving force behind my career success. But I’ve made many mistakes along the way. Here are three things I wish I had known when I was starting out.
Strategy 1: Focus on Building Relationships, Not Networking
Collecting business cards is a superficial and ineffective way to network. We’ve all experienced events where someone assesses our worth in a conversation and moves on if they don’t see immediate value. This interaction feels bad because it is bad.
Instead of networking in the traditional sense, focus on making real connections. Networking isn’t about you; it’s about building a community of mutual professional support. It involves developing relationships over time, not just one-off interactions at events.
If networking feels daunting, start with your peers. Look for people at a similar career stage and reach out. Join local groups, attend in-person or virtual meetings, and be genuine. This leads to our next strategy…
Strategy 2: Be Interested, Not Interesting
Many people aim to be impressive, thinking about how to make others see them as smart, cool, or credible. However, research shows that people spend about 60% of conversations talking about themselves, and this increases to 80% on social media.
A trend on TikTok highlights women counting the number of questions they get asked on dates, often with disappointing results. Listening to someone try to impress you is tedious and doesn’t build genuine relationships.
A better approach to making new friends and connections is to be genuinely interested in others. Instead of trying to impress, focus on getting to know them. Ask thoughtful questions, actively listen to their answers, and follow up the next day with a thank-you note.
Strategy 3: Make It Easy for Others to Help You
People generally want to help—they’re willing to make introductions, have coffee, or review resumes—but they are often very busy. When you send a vague request, you shift a lot of work onto their already packed schedules. A vague request might look like this:
“I’m looking for a new role. Do you know any e-commerce founders who are hiring and could you introduce me?”
This requires your connection to think through their network and make thoughtful introductions without much context, which is a lot to ask. Instead, make their lives easier by being specific and actionable in your requests.
Before you make an ask, consider what you would need if you were on the receiving end. Craft a specific, actionable request that does some of the work for them.
For instance, if you need introductions, provide names of people in their network you’d like to meet. If they need to introduce you, draft a one-sentence introduction they can use. If they need to explain your experience, write a brief summary they can share.
Final Thoughts
In a world where we often interact with technology more than humans, authentic connections are becoming both rare and essential. Show up, be yourself, treat others with kindness, express gratitude, offer help whenever you can, and follow up. By doing these simple things, you’ll find that incredible opportunities will come your way.
